This weekend’s UFC was a disappointment to watch Randy Couture’s loss to Brock Lesnar. The guy is a meat head simply put. He cannot punch to save his life. Relying solely on your mass is like telling people you drive an Audi when you’re really sporting a K car. Brock won dropping Couture with a ‘grazing punch’, then proceed to wank on Couture. He stopped nothing short of a Pearly Necklace. Let’s take a look at the technical marvels of the Wanker Punch:

Clearly Brock has been wanking at it again. Now if you take the radius and arc of 90 degrees and the Pounds per square inch of force derived by his 32 inch arms, this amounts to a lot of force. Now if we know that taking anabolic steroids reduces your wanker to shit, his rub and tug method must produce a lot of loose skin down under. That would explain how Brock was able to half straddle Couture on the matt and finish him off with the wank. I think wanking in the UFC should be an illegal move. He is not world class, he is not even fit for Champion. Brock, you need to learn to punch properly before you make an impact in the UFC, not wank on opponents.